I'M IN MY FEELINGS (ANGER)
We don’t want our feelings or emotions exposed so we wear masks to hide them. Feelings come in disguises and can be mislabeled. We can feel angry when we are really afraid or we can feel confused when we are really angry. Sometimes we just wear a mask so others won't know.
We don’t want our feelings or emotions exposed so we wear masks to hide them. Feelings come in disguises and can be mislabeled. We can feel angry when we are really afraid or we can feel confused when we are really angry. Sometimes we just wear a mask so others won't know.
HOW ANGER WORKS!
Activating Event
Interpretation (“What I think happened”)
Emotional Body Response (My body says, “I am ready to defend…”)
Behavioral Responses Occur (Now what do I do; fight or flight?)
Activating Event
- Usually an external event involving a person or situation that serves as a trigger for our beliefs.
Interpretation (“What I think happened”)
- The Activating Event is interpreted according to our beliefs.
- Our beliefs determine what is unfair, unjust, a threat, cause or intent to cause injury or harm.
Emotional Body Response (My body says, “I am ready to defend…”)
- Breathing and heart rate increases, body temperature increases, muscle tension increases, anxiety and tension increases.
Behavioral Responses Occur (Now what do I do; fight or flight?)
- These range from inappropriate responses to appropriate responses. They can be learned and unlearned, changed and chosen.
HOW DO I MANAGE MY ANGER?
Choose New Behaviors
Write a Grudge Letter
The Emotional Volcano
We carry our emotions wherever we go. They can range from one extreme to another and sometimes two or more will show up together. Don’t be nervous about exploring them because they can tell us who we are. Imagine carrying a bag around on a regular basis. This can be difficult and can lead to unhealthy coping strategies such as alcohol, drugs, and/or violence. These strategies can lead to more intense emotions and other problematic behaviors. Some of us do not like to take responsibility for our feelings believing they are caused by someone else. Our anger is controlled by what we believe and our attitude about that belief. Remember it is our beliefs about the Activating Event that causes us to experience the negative feelings.
*For informational purposes only and not intended to be used for therapeutic functions. Information assembled from Coping with Anger by G. L. Little & K. D. Robinson and Pairs for Life, S. G. Eisenberg, Director.
Choose New Behaviors
- Relaxation Techniques
- Time Out Practices
- Observation of Other’s Consequences
Write a Grudge Letter
- A letter you write to get things off “your chest” or “out of your system.”
- Think about the issue(s) that caused the hurt or pain that needs to be healed. Be honest and express each pain you are experiencing.
- You don’t have to worry about how the other person will take it because it is not a letter that you will deliver.
The Emotional Volcano
- The volcano is a practice that allows you to “blow up” without hurting yourself or others. This practice allows you to safely release painful emotions of anger, rage, and frustrations. It has nothing to do with violence or destructive behavior.
We carry our emotions wherever we go. They can range from one extreme to another and sometimes two or more will show up together. Don’t be nervous about exploring them because they can tell us who we are. Imagine carrying a bag around on a regular basis. This can be difficult and can lead to unhealthy coping strategies such as alcohol, drugs, and/or violence. These strategies can lead to more intense emotions and other problematic behaviors. Some of us do not like to take responsibility for our feelings believing they are caused by someone else. Our anger is controlled by what we believe and our attitude about that belief. Remember it is our beliefs about the Activating Event that causes us to experience the negative feelings.
*For informational purposes only and not intended to be used for therapeutic functions. Information assembled from Coping with Anger by G. L. Little & K. D. Robinson and Pairs for Life, S. G. Eisenberg, Director.