10 THINGS A DAUGHTER NEEDS FROM HER MOTHER
1) To be told she’s beautiful
When she’s wearing her fanciest dress or her dirtiest jeans and tennis shoes, she needs to hear you say, “you’re beautiful.” Tell her she’s beautiful, but then make her understand that she is so much more than that. She needs to understand that her beauty is only evident on the outside because of who she is on the inside.
2) To know her self-worth
Show her that her worth is not in her body. Show her that she is so much more than what people see at first glance. Teach her that she should be smart, kind, someone worth knowing. Teach her to dig deep to find out whom she is and who she wants to be.
3) To be shown how to love
Teach her, by example that her husband will need to feel respected. Let her see what unconditional love looks like, so that she will know how to show her children.
4) To see her mother love her father
Show her what loving a good man can do for a woman. And what the love of a good woman can do for a man. If you aren't married to her father, let her love him anyway.
1) To be told she’s beautiful
When she’s wearing her fanciest dress or her dirtiest jeans and tennis shoes, she needs to hear you say, “you’re beautiful.” Tell her she’s beautiful, but then make her understand that she is so much more than that. She needs to understand that her beauty is only evident on the outside because of who she is on the inside.
2) To know her self-worth
Show her that her worth is not in her body. Show her that she is so much more than what people see at first glance. Teach her that she should be smart, kind, someone worth knowing. Teach her to dig deep to find out whom she is and who she wants to be.
3) To be shown how to love
Teach her, by example that her husband will need to feel respected. Let her see what unconditional love looks like, so that she will know how to show her children.
4) To see her mother love her father
Show her what loving a good man can do for a woman. And what the love of a good woman can do for a man. If you aren't married to her father, let her love him anyway.
5) To talk about sex
She needs to understand the passion and heart that goes into it. She needs to understand what she is actually giving when she gives her body. She needs to understand that it is more than okay to say, “NO.” She needs to know that she can talk to you and ask you questions; when she’s 12 or 42. She also needs to know that she should be careful. There are boys whose hearts can be broken too.
6) To believe in herself
Assure her that you always will believe in her even when she can’t. The world is a scary place, full of uncertainty and pain. Make her believe that she can overcome anything, that she can accomplish anything, and that she can’t be stopped. If she believes that is true, it will be.
7) To respect
Teach her that she can demand the same thing. Let her know that a boy should respect her before he is given the chance to love her and that girls who don’t respect her, don’t deserve her friendship. She also needs to know that if she doesn't respect others, people won’t respect her.
She needs to understand the passion and heart that goes into it. She needs to understand what she is actually giving when she gives her body. She needs to understand that it is more than okay to say, “NO.” She needs to know that she can talk to you and ask you questions; when she’s 12 or 42. She also needs to know that she should be careful. There are boys whose hearts can be broken too.
6) To believe in herself
Assure her that you always will believe in her even when she can’t. The world is a scary place, full of uncertainty and pain. Make her believe that she can overcome anything, that she can accomplish anything, and that she can’t be stopped. If she believes that is true, it will be.
7) To respect
Teach her that she can demand the same thing. Let her know that a boy should respect her before he is given the chance to love her and that girls who don’t respect her, don’t deserve her friendship. She also needs to know that if she doesn't respect others, people won’t respect her.
8) To appreciate the things she has
She needs to learn to work hard for the things she doesn't have and want. Let her decorate her own space, and save to buy the latest gadgets. Teach her the value of time and money. She needs to learn how to budget so she can get the things she wants.
9) To be herself
She needs to learn to be who she is and not impress others with a phony self-image even if it’s not who you had envisioned. Let her be quiet and shy, or loud and outgoing. Let her wear clothes you don’t understand (remember to set boundaries on clothes that are disrespectfully worn) and listen to music you can’t connect with. Let her experiment with nail polish colors and hair styles, but not with drugs or boys. Let her be herself and get to know who that girl is, but set boundaries when and where needed.
10) To know she is loved
She needs to know she has a someplace to come home to. Let her come home from the sleep over early. Let her come home from college for the weekend. Let her come home for a cup of coffee when her own children are asking too much. Let her come home. Love her. And then send her back, knowing she has your unending love and support, to live her life again.
*The information in this pamphlet is designed to enhance the parent/child relationship and in no way criticizes or denigrates that bond. Information is assembled from child-parent attachment expert Dr. Joan Luby, professor of Child Psychiatry at Washington University
She needs to learn to work hard for the things she doesn't have and want. Let her decorate her own space, and save to buy the latest gadgets. Teach her the value of time and money. She needs to learn how to budget so she can get the things she wants.
9) To be herself
She needs to learn to be who she is and not impress others with a phony self-image even if it’s not who you had envisioned. Let her be quiet and shy, or loud and outgoing. Let her wear clothes you don’t understand (remember to set boundaries on clothes that are disrespectfully worn) and listen to music you can’t connect with. Let her experiment with nail polish colors and hair styles, but not with drugs or boys. Let her be herself and get to know who that girl is, but set boundaries when and where needed.
10) To know she is loved
She needs to know she has a someplace to come home to. Let her come home from the sleep over early. Let her come home from college for the weekend. Let her come home for a cup of coffee when her own children are asking too much. Let her come home. Love her. And then send her back, knowing she has your unending love and support, to live her life again.
*The information in this pamphlet is designed to enhance the parent/child relationship and in no way criticizes or denigrates that bond. Information is assembled from child-parent attachment expert Dr. Joan Luby, professor of Child Psychiatry at Washington University